Rs 32, Foreign Trips and Two Toilets !!!

After a long time.. But I am going to skip the self centred monologue in the beginning and come straight to the point..

This post is in reaction to the allegations on the Planning Commission of India in general and Montek Singh Alhuwalia in specific. If you may sit down, I have couple of things to say in the matter!!!

The First controversy was when the Planning Commission decided to set the poverty line at Rs 32 per head  (and later reduced it to 28). Of course media, bloggers, facebook activists, etc etc went berserk on how can someone live on Rs 32 per day in India today. 

Yet no one mentioned the fact that at this level the poverty in India stands at 29 percent Plus... That is 36 crore  Indians who live below an income as defined by the Planning commission as the poverty line !!!

Now the technical rebuttal of public argument saying that these are too law, was given by Swaminathan S A Aiyar here and here

So I am going to leave it at that. Basically the simple fact that there are 36 crore people living below that income itself is evidence to the fact that there is a certain merit to the poverty line.

The next  was the article in The Hindu, by P Sainath  which I find utterly ridiculous. He makes the assumptions which I can not comprehend in any possible way.

• The Rs 28 poverty line is an attempt by the Planning Commission to drive austerity (which I have never heard the Planning Commission stating)
  
• The money which I earn or which I spend should be in proportion to what I think the poverty line should be !!!

Sainath goes to even more juvenile exercises in comparing the money that Dr. Alhuwalia spent abroad with the poverty line!!!!

Think about it, 4000 USD while nominally is equal to 2 lacs plus, is not actually equal to 2 lacs. Basic economics suggests that for comparison of earnings or spending between two countries, the better indicator should be Purchasing Power Parity (PPP). And by that the expenditure is roughly half of  the amount that is expressed as the daily expenditure !! (in PPP terms 1 dollar is roughly 19-20 Rs)

The same error is used in converting the Poverty line to 45 cents in USD terms. (as you can see from  Swami ‘s article which I linked above, the  poverty line figures work out to be more than 1.25 USD which is the world bank benchmark for Poverty Line)

These are economic mistakes..

The bigger mistake is how can you compare the money spent by someone who is holding such a high rank in the GOI with someone who is in abject poverty?

So essentially

1)Dr Alhuwalia should not have gone to any of his foreign conferences

2) If at all he went, he should not have stayed in five star hotels like his counterparts. He should have stayed in a cheap rundown bread and breakfast place

3) When the foreign dignitaries invited him for a lunch meeting or discussion in fine dining restaurants, he should have excused himself and ate at Mc Donald’s  or better still roadside hotdog stands

4) While it is expected to tip at least 10% everywhere in US, he should have shown the classic Indian cheapness proudly (that Russel Peters make fun of)

5) While all his peers arrived at the meeting venues with their entourage in high end sedans, he should have simply hired a yellow taxi!!!

You get the drift rt?

The same is the case with the fresh debate on Rs 35 Lac toilets in Planning Commission Office.

If we as a country is to grow, (and mind you that is the only way to remove poverty) we have to get rid of our cheapness.

The only relevant question about both these scenarios is .. Did Montek or Planning Commission follow right procedures, ie did he spend within the allowance that he is entitled to as Deputy Chairman of Planning Commission. Did he involve the right departments, bid out the contracts etc for the toilet construction etc..

I am fine with criticism against the Rs 28 poverty line. But the logic should be different. What do you think the limit should be? How did you arrive at it? Except for a couple of guys who did an experiment of sorts, this was not even attempted by any of the intellectuals (of course they would have had to explain their earnings or spending wrt their defined baselines wouldn’t they).

Also do not get the wrong impression, I am not a chamcha of Planning Commission. In fact I even question the need for such an institution. Also since we have such an institution, I should hold them responsible for slowing down of Indian Economy.

But getting personal and challenging expenses to a ridiculous level will only scare away qualified people from taking up any position of responsibility in India. At the very least think about it !!

Why you should not climb on the roof of stuff

Hey guys

First of all.. Thanks.. The response to the last post was awesome.. While it did not go viral like Kolaveri Di, it did increase the number of hits from a total of 100 to 251 at the time I write this. What was more surprising was the number of personal comments (mostly through gtalk and fb chat), that I received from my friends. This is highly encouraging to someone who is going through a quarter life crisis with no clue what his true “thing” is.. (You do realize, that the “some one is me.. right??)

So I have been thinking about a lot of topics to write about, My Las Vegas Trip (post is coming, I just have to get my angle right), the (in)famous slap (I actually wrote something, which I found a bit too serious and boring so did not post) and some other random stuff in life. But none of them was good enough.

.

That is when this interesting article/news/warning came along. I did see it couple of times on FB and ignored it. But then this piece was going viral.

You know I don’t care for advice.. Especially random internet ones. For instance, I wont stop using trial rooms because I see loads of people advising me  not to, since there might be hidden cameras. (I would like to know for how much price my videos are eventually sold by whoever puts those cameras though, just out of curiosity)

Now there are various may be smaller versions available across internet on this. But I am going to use the most elaborate version of this “News” and “Warning”, that I could find

------The most Elaborate version of “Why you should not use flash lights in Railway Stations”-----------

With deep pains i am to inform You that yesterday morning, one (Mr. Aditya Suresh Joshi), age 19, studying in 1st year of engineering, died in Keshvani Hospital, Mumbai. He was admitted in Keshavani Hospital as burned patient.
4 days back this boy had gone to Amravati (One of the district place located in State of Maharashtra ) on study tour. After their study was over, he, his cl-assmates & his teachers, all of them were standing on “Badnera” railway station to catch the train. “Badnera” is the name of the railway station for” Amravati ” city.As soon as they arrived on Badnera Railway station, many of them started taking pictures of their friends using “Mobile Phones” and/or “Digital Camera”. One of them complained that, in his camera, he was not able to capture more number of friends in one frame. He was not able to catch the angle. Another boy suggested that let’s climb on train boogie and take picture so that all of them can be accommodated in single frame. At that there was one goods wagon (all of them were oil tankers) train resting between 2 main railway lines.Kumar Aditya climbed up oil boogie. Above his head, 40,000 volts electrical line was passing through. As soon as he clicked the digital camera? 40,000 volt current passed through the camera flash light to his camera and then from his camera to his fingers and then from his fingers to his body. All this happened within fraction of minutes. Next moment he was thrown from the top. His body was half burnedon the spot.
At that time, his father (my friend) was traveling in Bangkok . His many friends in Pune came to know about this via mobile SMS. They instantly arranged air ambulance in Amravati and his burned body was brought to Keshavani Hospital , Mumbai. i was told that this is the best hospital in Mumbai. For 1 and 1/2 day or so he was talking to his relatives. When he was admitted to the hospital, at that time only, doctor informed his relatives that don’t keep great hopes. Because of lot of complex issues in half burned body? He died yesterday morning.
Now how many of us are aware about this technological threats & dangers? Honestly, Kumar Aditya and his father was not aware. His family was not aware. Now should we call ourselves as fully educated and fully knowledgeable people? Please Think of it.

Please avoid mobile phones on petrol outlets.
Please avoid talking on mobile phones while driving. I also know many of my friends who do not bother about this good suggestion and each one of them have opted for “Chalta Hai Yaar Attitude”.
Please avoid talking on mobile phones while they are in charging mode.
Please avoid charging mobile phones near Your bed and/or near wooden furniture. Avoid mobile phones near high voltage electrical lines like railway stations and avoid using flash lights.

My friend, his family members and we all friends learned our lesson with loss of young life. Now Would You like to empower Your friends about this accident so as to avoid future accidents? We can save human life by empowering all the IT users who are in Your network?
What can we do ?

Please Please…..I request you to send this very important life threatening information to your loved ones…..

-------------------------------------------------End of the Plea -------------------------------------------

Okie .. So most probably, you have also read this. What is wrong with this? There is nothing wrong, except that the whole story might entirely be fake (please note I used “might” and not “is”)

Reasons

1)There is no report of this on any news paper website . If a 19 year old boy was electrocuted in a railway station, that would become news at least in local news. And if it is in news, given the amount of search engine optimization that news papers do, the news paper article should be the first one to show up instead of a thousand blogs and other user generated content

2) Amravati is 725 KM from Mumbai, which by road is sure to take 8-9 hours to reach. And I don’t think the airport is fully operational. Nagpur is much closer, wouldn’t it have made much more sense to take the boy there?

3)The Railway electricity lines are not 40 kV, but 25 kv (Source: Wikipedia,  Also I have seen the warning signs on railway bridges)

4) Keshvani Hospital: It took me a lot of google to  find out where this is. Apparently it is a cosmetic surgery clinic which is part of the Breach Candy hospital in Mumbai which besides Post Burn Reconstruction, also does breast implants and tattoo removal. Now I might be completely wrong here, but some one who had such a fatal accident would not be admitted in a cosmetic surgery wing. would he?

Now comes the second part of my problem. Let us say Kumar Aditya Suresh Joshi ( I am assuming that Kumar is a salutation, like a hindi version of Master), actually did meet with such an accident (I am leaving “unfortunate” deliberately out).

Is it not plain common sense  not to climb on a freaking bogie of a freaking train, even when you are 100% sure that it is run either using coal or diesel? Is it not even bigger common sense to not climb a train bogie when there is a 25 kV line a few meters (I searched for the exact height, but could not find it, but I don’t think it would be more than 3 meters from the roof of the train) above it? And further more when the said bogie is TANKER?? And you blame the POOR CAMERA and ITS FLASHLIGHT????

If he did not die, he should be hunt down and slapped a couple of times so that he does not climb on the roof of anything ever.

Now does this mean that I should stop using cameras and mobile phones in Railway Stations... No fucking way

I would never climb on a train of Indian Railways as long as I am sober. (Not only it is dangerous but also  disrespectful). In fact I would never climb on the roof of anything except my own house as long as I am sober. And if I am drunk enough to climb on the roof of other things, at that stage I typically leave my chances of being alive to the good deeds that my ancestors supposedly have done!!

Now some of the other suggestions might be good. I do not know the technical side of it.

Do not use mobile phones in petrol pumps – I don’t know what the problem is but I will try

Do not use mobile phones while driving – I already never do this. I typically pull over and then attend the call without turning off the engine at which point my dad reminds me that I am now a student and the global crude prices are soaring. I silently switch the engine off

Avoid using mobile in charging mode—why? I mean whats the problem?

Avoid charging mobile phones near bed or wooden furniture—Where will I charge it then? In a power plant? Or a substation?

Avoid mobile phones and flashlights in Railway stations—I most certainly will use mobile phones and Flash lights in railway stations

So dear readers, please, on my behalf, to save so many lives, which are destroyed because of the lack of knowledge, please share this message..

“Before the next time you decide to climb on the roof of stuff, especially moving ones, more specifically with high tension lines above, and/or stuff which carry HIGHLY INFLAMMABLE signs, please call your parents and let your parents know that they may not see you again” And tell them it is not the fault of the poor mobile phone

PS:My best guess is this whole story was started as a prank by four people, Kumar, Aditya, Suresh and Joshi... :D

Encounters with a profile of the fake kind

It all started when I got a friend request from a girl on Facebook. For the sake of the story let us call her XYZ. So I know this girl, she used to work in my office, she is a bit senior to me.  And I knew  she knew me (why else would she sent me a friend’s request you ask?? Ha ha you are sooooo wrong.. Read on)

Since it would be rude to ignore her and since i am about 100 friends away from reaching 1000 friends on FB (it is not a competition?? Are you kidding me??) , I gladly accepted the friend request.. And I assumed that it would be like most of the rest 900, occasional comments, likes, shares etc... How wrong and unsuspecting I was!!!!

A couple of days after I added the aforementioned person (XYZ), she pinged me.... A rough reproduction of the chat from memory

XYZ:  Hi

Me: Hi, How are you?

XYZ: How are you hunky? I am fine.

(Note: Please note the word she used ... HUNKY )

Me: hunky?

XYZ: You are a hunk. You are really strong and handsome

Me: (all of a sudden dryness in the throat and the inability to type)

(At this point I am slightly perplexed, I mean hunk, strong , handsome etc are adjectives that are never used on me.... The most usual ones are “pathetic loser” and its various synonyms. It is not to say that I never got a compliment, but they are more on the intelligence department, not on my looks.. and if you know me in real life, you would understand what I am talking about.. I am as far away from strength, handsomeness and hunkyness as the Pope  is from a strip club)

XYZ:  always had a big crush on you.. ha ha don’t get shocked

Me: ohh :D I know you are making fun of me :P

(Duly note the smiley)

XYZ: No I am serious

Me: Okie.. good to know

XYZ: i have been seeing ur pics ... u look so nice i have been seeing them for so long ....again and again and again ...haha

XYZ: You look so strong now, going to gym?

Me: Not really....

(okie something is wrong!! At this point I show the whole thing to my friend, he , after laughing for 20 minutes, encourages me on!! .. “hey may be some one finds you attractive!!!” . I probably would have thought so if not for the following part of the conversation. It really gets ugly.)

XYZ: Where are you nowadays?

Me:  Mumbai

XYZ: Have any girlfriends in Mumbai ??

Me: No

XYZ: Ohh good I am in Mumbai too..

Me: (perplexed, what am I supposed to say)

XYZ: May be we should catch up sometime

Me: (OMG Where the hell is this going) .. Uh Sure

XYZ: Where do you stay?

Me: Andheri

XYZ: Alone

Me: With my friends

XYZ: Thats too bad...

Me: (What the hell is wrong with the universe)

XYZ: Anyway its okie, I stay alone.. you can come to my place

Me: uh!!!

XYZ: Do you drink?

Me: Yeah a little bit once in a while

XYZ: I drink a lot

(By this time I am convinced that some one is playing a prank on me.. I mean I can even accept that a woman would find me strong and handsome, but would ANY woman try to sound soooo easy? So I started to dig the girl’s profile for information that would give me some clue. Interestingly, she had the half nude pictures of Imran Hashmi and a set of other set of actors on her wall.. And in reply to some one else’s comment, she had mentioned that she likes the hair on Imran Hashmi’s chest. On some instinct I searched her name in FB, and another similar profile came up. The same name, the same profile pic, the same details. But there are no half nude pictures on the wall. Nor is she in my friend’s list. I could see that “add as a friend” button)

Me: (Convinced that the person i am chatting with is a fake) Are you really xyz?

XYZ: Why would you ask me that? :O

Me: Okie give me your number let me call you

XYZ: I will give that later, I am scared now

Me: You are not XYZ, you &^&^%^&%$#$#%$#*&*(&*&*(&)

XYZ: %&*%^%&*$%^$%$&*%$*^%(%(

(In the hind sight using the special character language was not the best idea. I should have been more tactful and tried to get more information out of him (yes it was a “HIM” I am damn sure) and probably try to bring him to law or something, but then this was not a bad Idea either, I am sure his fore fathers up until the monkeys, turned in their graves.. I also threatened him that using IT act he will be arrested for using some one else’s photo etc.. I blocked him so not sure what actually happened to that profile right now)

On a serious note, the whole thing got me thinking, how dangerous these kind of things can be. I mean how much of a pervert one has to be to create a fake profile and to spend time faking a slutty conversation with some dude, you may not even know? May be the girl in question did something that pissed him off. But should you be more of a man about it and deal with it straight forward and not going around doing stupid stuff like this? I am just bewildered by the psychology behind this. I mean if you look at it, it hardly causes any real damage to the actual person. It is just a kind of cheap satisfaction that the faker gets by projecting his enemy as a person of weak character.

In the end all I can say is “ May god help him”

The Year That Was...

The Year That was.....................

Most of my fav bloggers such as eM, does a recap of their year at the end of the year.. So I thought .. why the hell not.. So here is my attempt at recapturing “My 2010” Instead of going through the incidents in a chronological order, I am going to classify and list them

Achievements

1) Interview Calls from some of the finest of the B-schools in the country.. best being SP Jain and IIM Indore

2) Final admission in 3 colleges, NMIMS, IIT Roorkee and IMI Delhi..

3) Took the courage to bid adieu to my job and join NMIMS

4) Survived so far without any major problems in a B-school

5) Danced along with Deepika Padukone and Neil Nitin Mukesh.. Yaaaay

6) Learnt a little bit of hip hop dance..... but if you ever come across me in real life... Dont ask

7) Made a bunch of new friends...

Loses

1) The dream of making it to a BIG B-school... but hey happy with what I got

2) My N73 music edition phone... yes it was getting stuck quite often, but it was quite dear to me nonetheless.. Had a lot of memories... (2GB to be exact :D)

3) A little bit of weight.. Not yet used to the “Wadas” and the “Pavs” of the world.. and strict academic routine didn’t help either

4) Once again..... Heartbroken (sigh)

Now I will end this with the resolutions for 2011

1) Train for Mumbai Marathon 2012 (I can see the grin on your face, but by the end of the year I will be so strong to wipe it off )

2) Read sooo many books, three are already in my hand, rest in mind

3) Finish the top 100 movies of IMDB

4) Some resolutions are of strictly private kind.. .. so not revealing them... you know :P

So that is it.. Happy New Year every one....